Zing.

One of my ex-boyfriends just got married.

And it affected me more than I thought it would. Just sort of threw me for a loop. We dated for a little over three years. He wanted to marry me. He was emotionally abusive. My parents hated him. I eventually came to see the truth and ended it. It wasn’t easy. He was there during my time of depression and med addiction. But we’ve always sort of stayed in touch.

He was the first heart I seriously broke. And hopefully the only one. He didn’t date anyone for 7-8 years after me. He saw therapists. He would randomly call and text me. He had a hard time letting go.

And now that he’s found someone to share his life with? That finally makes him happy and patched up the holes that I left? Makes me sort of feel…melancholy.

Bittersweet.

Ending with a sharp zing. It’s hard to let someone go completely. Especially when you realize you were still holding on to a tiny piece of them all this time.

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~ by shespeakstruth on January 17, 2013.