Decision-Making 101: The Other Pills

Post 1—Decision-Making 101: The Pills

That night, after I had taken the first pills, I felt it. The change. Maybe it’s all in my head, but….. then maybe not. I felt different about three hours later. My boobs stopped hurting. My mind was slightly less cloudy…. I felt like they worked.

I stayed home from work the next day because I was worried about my mental state. If I went to work, I worried about crying, not concentrating, and just doing more damage than it was worth. So I stayed home and just tried to take care of myself. I had to take the second set of pills 24 hours after the first ones. And I counted down to the 24-hour mark.

The doctor told me someone had to be with me when I took the second set. That it would be pretty much awful, and should something happen, it would be better…. I didn’t question it.

Around 6 p.m., I took the next set of 4 pills….the misoprostol (cytotec). It was all supposed to start in 2-4 hours after taking them. It was nearly 3 hours when I stood up to use the restroom and felt everything move. I grabbed my legs to hold my sweatpants against me just before the blood came. Screaming for my husband to help, I hobbled to the restroom, worried that I got blood everywhere (thankfully, the sweatpants saved my white rugs…).

I was in the restroom for hours. I passed three large clots before I decided to go lay down.

That’s when the pain started. The contractions… the burning of my lower back… and the worst experience of my life at that point. The doc had given me vicodin to help ease the pain. I took one and nothing happened. I waited an hour and it was still excruciating. I asked my husband to see if the bottle said I could take more… I could. I bent over the side of the bed, with a heating pad over my back, praying that the pain would subside. For a while I was ok…

I took another pill not much later…. and then was sick. And very, very warm. And then very, very cold. My body turned to ice. I started sweating. I needed to throw up. I rose from the bed to walk into the bathroom and fell. My husband was scared out of his mind….

He called the on-call nurse. And then the doc. I was in the bathroom trying my hardest to not pass out. And bleeding more.

Finally around midnight, I was able to come lay down. I didn’t sleep much… and ended up going to lay down on the couch so that my husband could at least get a good night’s sleep.

I was off work the next day as well…since I wasn’t sure how much I was going to bleed. Again, I needed a day to just keep my mental sanity in check. It was awful to be alone. And I cried a lot.

But it was over… I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

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~ by shespeakstruth on December 31, 2012.