Call it my light bulb moment

When you realize that you look… Desperate? Needy? Dramatic? Unattractive?

I am not that person. But I can get carried away. And today was sort of my “ah ha!” moment. When I realized that he’s just not that into me. And perhaps sex really is just fwb sex sometimes. And despite what he may say, IT Guy never shares feelings or internal thoughts. And I’m very much a feelings and internal thoughts kind of gal. Without it… it’s not really anything to me. I know what affects me, and I can change that. But I can’t change him. His trust for women. His love for this particular girl. His stance about sex. So… I’ll enjoy it while it lasts. He’s grown farther apart the longer we’re apart irl. I guess all good things have to come to an end.

And I should remind myself it shouldn’t affect me as much as it does. He can make someone really happy. He just doesn’t want to make ME that person. And that shouldn’t be a problem.

EDIT Add: Why on earth do those butterflies happen so strongly? Yikes.


~ by shespeakstruth on November 6, 2012.