The Lowdown: Au Naturale, Shaving or Waxing?

I just need to throw it out there: I can’t do au naturale on my nether regions. Due to the natural curliness of my head hair, coupled with the fact that I’m Puerto Rican, have dark hair anyway, and have a ton of it…. if I let it just all grow natural down there, it gets scary.

Eons ago, I started shaving. I feel like this is the most common option among women today. Ask anyone what they do and they’ll say, “Oh, I shave…” Have you tried this? I mean… have you shaved ANY body part before? It’s great the first day, but two days later? You’ve got some ridiculous stubble. And if you try shaving again then, you end up shaving part of your skin, getting in-grown hairs and get horrible red bumps all over.

It’s not attractive.

So why the hell do so many women do this?!

They’re afraid of waxing. They have to be.

I’ve been waxing for the past four years. I will never go back to shaving. Does it hurt? Fuck yes it hurts. You’re ripping hair out of your vagina. I never said it was painless! But the end result can’t.be.beat.

It takes about 30 minutes to do what I prefer (landing strip at bottom… I don’t do brazilians. I’m not THAT insane). The look lasts at least three weeks before hair starts showing. And then I have to wait another three weeks until the hair is long enough to wax. 6 weeks of bliss. And then there’s the added benefit of having less hair grow back each time (because waxing actually creates scar tissue which prevents the folicles from growing). After four years? I can nearly go two months without having to wax.

Feel free to be jealous right now.

I don’t mind au naturale on some folks though. I mean… how can you fault someone for not wanting to change the natural state of things? It’s easy. They’re born with it. It all..matches.

But the fact is, women’s clothing (underwear and bathing suits in particular) don’t allow for natural anything to happen. Those skimpy bikini bottoms leave little to the imagination. And panties hardly cover the full front (don’t get me started on thongs. I get that the back has to be open, but why does the front cover a 1×1″ triangle?!)

Anyway. For females, I think the most sense (if they want to change their appearance at all) would be waxing. For men? Hell…manscaping just requires an electric body trimmer. Less than 5 minutes hovering over the toilet and wah-lah! Finished!

Men can kiss my ass. For realz.

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~ by shespeakstruth on November 3, 2012.