Separation between Sex and FWB Sex

How do you have sex with someone without being attached?

My experience in this realm is limited, and the only guys I’ve had sex with I’ve been in complete and utter love with. But this is a new twist.

Do I love IT Guy? No. Not in a “head-over-heels-cant-get-enough-of-him-must-marry-now” sort of way. Could it develop into that? Absolutely.
And this is probably what I’m most afraid of…

The other two guys? I’ll never regret. And, thus far, I have no regrets with IT Guy. But I have a hard time separating my thoughts of Sex and FWB Sex with him. While I’ve only spoken with him a little about this, we agreed that even FWB Sex has some sort of emotion tied to it. We care about each other. But he’s already come straight out and said he will:

  • Never be hurt by me
  • Doesn’t love me
  • Doesn’t get jealous of me with any other sort of guy/relationship
  • Cares for me
  • Wants to have sex without drama

How is he so easily able to separate the two sexes? He’s had twice the number of sexual partners I have, so maybe experience plays a key. Maybe he’s given his heart away to someone, making the attachment not a problem.

But (and I feel absolutely selfish saying this) I’m not used to not being loved by a guy I’ve developed feelings for. I assume that if I have these feelings, the other person does too. I sometimes wish it were that easy…just turn off a switch… gain pleasure… flip switch back on when finished.

I don’t have sex with everyone under the sun. I don’t believe in cheating (even if I currently am engaging in it). I know that my problems stem alot farther down than simply what is shown on the surface. But I’ll be damned if I’m put in the same realm as every other girl who has cheated. Who doesn’t care who she sleeps with. Who’s in it for pleasure with multiple men. I am careful about who I share my body and my emotions with. Which is why I’m worried about separating the Sex with FWB Sex here. What if I actually and truly care about this guy?

I’m setting myself up for being heartbroken and it’s not even ABOUT that. Maybe I want him to love me, in the way that he refuses to do. Maybe it’s not for selfish reasons, but for something more?

 

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~ by shespeakstruth on November 1, 2012.